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May 27, 2014 / starstarstarstar

Tim Bick enters the political fray

As a prior student of mathematics, Tim has spotted that 66.8% of the UK electorate failed to vote at all in the recent European election. This has inspired him to start his own political party, named ‘Apathy’, whose winning strategy will be to appeal to everybody who doesn’t want to vote. Tim explained:

“A vote for Apathy will mean exactly what it says, so it will be just as if you hadn’t voted at all. My party makes a solemn promise to have no policies whatsoever, thapathy rosetteereby guaranteeing that there is nothing that a voter could find objectionable. We will give a voice to the disenfranchised majority who dislike politics and politicians, by allowing them to send a real message to Westminster without having to resort to voting for morally suspect nutters who want to reintroduce indentured servitude or make sausages compulsory for breakfast. Of course, I am a musician and not a politician so I am untainted by the grubby wheeler dealing of Farage, Cameron et al. Having looked at the turnout for last week’s election it seems clear that by being the most attractive to non-voters we will instantly become the majority party.”

Tim’s manager and election agent Shel Valentine added: “If UKIP have produced a political earthquake then Apathy will create nothing short of a Mount Vesuvius, though hopefully without the many deaths that could imply.”

Interested parties can apply for membership of Apathy at

March 2, 2014 / starstarstarstar

Single of the year?

Star single cover
We are pleased to announce the release of Tim Bick’s first single for **** artistes. It’s called Star and is already attracting the attention of the world’s media. Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly called it “an affront to human decency”, while according to television insiders, former BBC Radio DJ and host of Channel 4’s ‘Deal Or No Deal’ Noel Edmonds is busy pitching a new game show loosely based on the song, in which celebrities vie to be the first to be voted off the programme by indulging in the most prima donna-ish and least tasteful behaviour they can muster.

Since Tim’s work is truly unclassifiable, we have had to coin a new term for it: foam wave. We think of it as music you can bounce on the sofa cushions to, whether you’re standing, sitting or even lying down. Can you bounce on the furniture to Lorde’s ‘Royals’? No, you can’t. That ain’t foam wave.

Star is available on iTunes and all other digital stores, and can be streamed and purchased in both digital and physical formats from Bandcamp here:

January 28, 2014 / starstarstarstar

Tim Bick photo session

Here’s a couple of shots from Tim’s recent session with photographer/writer/Mod festival favourite Jason Hook. Jason has never been sighted aboard a Lambretta, yet inexplicably is the toast of the parka and Benzedrine crowd, in the same way that nobody could ever figure out why the hell Sting was in Quadrophenia.

Jason coped admirably with Tim’s absence of trousers in this particular session, which is always a challenge for the showbiz photographer who then has to find some other way to express the personality of the performer. The session was for Tim’s forthcoming twin track release, of which more shortly.


April 27, 2012 / starstarstarstar

Move over X Factor, here comes something real

There’s been no time for blogging lately, as I’ve been working with a new act. And I’m proud to announce, after a lot of hard contractual bargaining (the boy seems to think it’s 1975 and he can stipulate a recording studio in Barbados, I put him straight on that one) that we have a new signing, Tim Bick.


I’m very excited about the possibilities with this act, and at my age that doesn’t happen very often. My doctor’s advised me to keep the excitement down to a sensible level actually, but you know doctors, they’re no fun. The most important thing is that we have songs, people. As I told Tim, production we can work on, trousers can be fitted, but songs need to be there from the off, and he is delivering. I hope to share some more news soon, as we finish some final mixes and videos.

April 1, 2011 / starstarstarstar

Calling all (great) artists

I don’t normally do business like this but by way of an experiment I am putting out a call on this blog for any musicians that need management representation. And if you think you don’t need management then you’re in the wrong game. Read more…

April 1, 2011 / starstarstarstar

Cloudy thinking about Amazon

So, Amazon have released their new Cloud Drive and Cloud Player services that allow punters to upload their digital music and whatnot, and then have it streamed back to them wherever they happen to be. I can’t say I was terrifically excited about this idea, but then I’m always listening to new acts, most of which don’t merit more than a single listen anyway (ouch, Shel, you’re going to have to learn to be a bit more tactful – although it’s unlikely that this leopard will be changing his spots to stripes after all these years). Read more…

March 30, 2011 / starstarstarstar

Whatever happened to the cash-in?

So, it’s now been five days since a massive protest involving half a million people in London. How many cash-in singles about the march against government cuts do you think have beeen released? Exactly none. Which is precisely my point. Everyone in the business has lost the plot when it comes to marketing music that resonates with the times. And resonate, my old china, is what a cash register does when the hungry drawer pops out to gobble up the punter’s money. Read more…