Tim Bick enters the political fray

As a prior student of mathematics, Tim has spotted that 66.8% of the UK electorate failed to vote at all in the recent European election. This has inspired him to start his own political party, named ‘Apathy’, whose winning strategy will be to appeal to everybody who doesn’t want to vote. Tim explained:

“A vote for Apathy will mean exactly what it says, so it will be just as if you hadn’t voted at all. My party makes a solemn promise to have no policies whatsoever, thereby guaranteeing that there is nothing that a voter could find objectionable. We will give a voice to the disenfranchised majority who dislike politics and politicians, by allowing them to send a real message to Westminster without having to resort to voting for morally suspect nutters who want to reintroduce indentured servitude or make sausages compulsory for breakfast. Of course, I am a musician and not a politician so I am untainted by the grubby wheeler dealing of Farage, Cameron et al. Having looked at the turnout for last week’s election it seems clear that by being the most attractive to non-voters we will instantly become the majority party.”

Tim’s manager and election agent Shel Valentine added: “If UKIP have produced a political earthquake then Apathy will create nothing short of a Mount Vesuvius, though hopefully without the many deaths that could imply.”